I believe in divine providence. I believe that God has a specific will for our lives. However, we cannot see that will except through a darkened glass. I believe that God is omnipotent and that he knows where we will end up. Fortunately, I have experienced what I believe to be the will of God for my life concerning my fate in love. This deals with my best friend, Levi, who is the love of my life.
When I was about ten years old and he was about fourteen, Levi’s family began to attend our church. I can recall my first memory of him quite well. I had just had a fight with a boy who I had used to like all throughout my childhood. So, I was outside the church sobbing on the curb. Levi was also outside; He was known to frequently hang outside of the church skateboarding. So, there he was, skating right past me. However, he realized that I was sobbing in anguish. So, he set aside his worn skateboard and sat beside me. He comforted me that day. He also, from that day forward, never has let me forget it.
However, there was a time where he stepped out of my life. For some time, I had little to no contact with him. Later, I discovered that he was going through a terrible situation during that time. His heart was broken and he was left with deep and bitter wounds. Fortunately, he and I have always had the same passion for music. So, one day, out of the blue, he reached out to an old friend to go to a concert. I knew that he was in need of someone to talk to and that this concert would be an ideal venue to reach out to him. So, I immediately agreed to attend the concert. I truly believe that he and I going to the concert was in God’s perfect will. I got to sit down and let him talk out everything and I told him it was okay to cry and he did. I let him know that although it seemed love had been stripped from him, the truest Love, in which only God can give, never left him and that love would find him again. I let him know that I was there for him and he thanked me for being a true friend and I gave him a hug and we parted. I am so thankful that God used me that night to show him that people still love.
About a week later, I spoke with him while driving home from school. He told me that his feelings towards me were stronger than of friendship and that he hoped I cared for him as he cared for me. With great pain, I told him that I didn’t like him more than as a friend and that I wasn’t pursuing a relationship anyways. I was partially telling the truth. Right before Levi came back into my life, I had made a commitment to God to not date anyone until I either graduated from college or until He allowed me. With great distraught, he swallowed my words and accepted the fact that, for a time, we would be nothing more than best friends.
A few weeks later, he started feeling the pains of his wounded heart once more. We were driving back from the movie theater with another friend and I noticed that he was in deep anguish. I took his hand. Though I know that he was in deep pain at the time, when he held my hand like that, I felt something that I had never felt before. It just felt right. Startled, I released his hand. We didn’t talk for the rest of the trip to our friend’s house.
Once we arrived at our friend’s house, we said our goodbyes to her and she went inside. We then sat against the side of his car and he just poured his wounded heart out. There were moments of anger and times when he allowed tears to freely flow down his face. I sat and intently listened to all he had to say and gave whatever comforting words I could in between his distraught thoughts. An hour later, once he had finished, I reached out and held him close and tight and gave him words of encouragement and comfort. We left that night closer than ever.
Day by day, my heart would long to belong to Levi. We spent as much time as we could together. The hope of being released from my commitment was the only balm to my longing heart. However, I couldn’t keep my feelings hidden for very long. One night, I spent the evening playing a game with his family. Levi and I were on a team and would give each other high-fives per points scored. At one point in the game, my eyes revealed my true feelings to him. He looked at me with surprise and I knew that I was betrayed by my eyes. Throughout the rest of the game, each high-five slowly transitioned into holding hands. By the end of the evening, we were hand in hand. I knew that we had just begun something quite wonderful.
Every moment we could, from then on, we would steal heartfelt glances and would take every chance we could to hold each other’s hand. However, I had to remember the commitment I had to not date. So, each glace, each hug, and each moment hand in hand became a promise of what would come. Even our friends and family began to notice that we were becoming closer than friends. Levi’s sister-in-law came up to me one night after church. She gave me a sincere hug and told me that she hoped that one day I would truly be a part of their family. Her words meant more to me and were more real than she would ever know. He told me that he had already made up his mind to wait as long as he had to in order to have a chance with me. I knew that I had found a treasure and I would pine for the chance to be with him as well. I was falling in love with my best friend.
One day, he was working only a half hour away from my school. Not wanting to waste an opportunity to see him, I traveled to see him. I arrived at a café to have tea with him. For a moment, we failed at conversation. Moments later, we shared what can only be described as true love’s first kiss. Divine providence was further proved to me because the moment that our lips touched, the sun came out from behind the overcast sky. The world bowed out, out of respect for two so much in love, of existence for such a brief moment in time. Once our first kiss concluded, the world spiraled its way back into existence. We both stood there quite astounded and dizzy at what had just occurred. We stared at each other and knew that we were soon meant to be together.
Exactly one month after my eyes told of my affections, in God’s perfect timing, I was released from my commitment. The very moment that the release was spoken to my heart, I immediately told Levi. We were both extremely elated and eager to be in each other’s embrace. However, Levi, out of his chivalrous nature, wished to ask my father for permission to date me. So, we waited for the day that I would return home.
The day that I returned home, Levi called my father for permission to date me. After some consideration, my father gave his consent to him. Soon thereafter, I arrived at Levi’s front step with open arms and heart. A new chapter in our lives had just begun.
(THE FOLLOWING IS AN ACCOUNT OF OUR FIRST VALENTINES DAY!!!!)
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Now that I have time, I can tell you about my AMAZING Valentines day!!!
Soooo… as said in the last blog, I was kinda nervous that Levi wasn’t going to actually come because he was being a tricky mctrickster… and i caught on.
So… he sent me a text message asking if i had “received my present yet”… I, in all my coyness, said no. So, he said that he had someone leave my present at the front door. So, I went out to the front porch of the small house and there was this HUGE vase of a beautiful rose arrangement… and there was a letter.
Well… first… the words in quotes are from a text message he sent me earlier that day.
“Lovely Time”
Tomorrow we will be apart
Tomorrow you will not be in mine arms.
I will be far from where my heart is kept.
She, yes, the lady who stole my heart will be in another world, and again I wait.
I wait for each week to pass, I am found pining for Friday, for my Love comes to me,
and her arms do wrap around me with such loving warmth that I never wan the world to start up again.
“But such times apart do but purify this pure heart shared, mine and thine.”
So we despise it not but thank the Giver of time and the Creator of Love
I Love You Brittney
*SIGH*
Anyways, so, as I was melting in the beautiful letter… he texted me and asked if I would join him for dinner.
He then gave me directions to follow to find him.
He ended up being down the hill from my small house and there was a cute little picnic set up and had Dean Martin playing. It was sooooooo romantic.
So, we first exchanged gifts. I gave him his brand new Nintendo DS… yes… I rock. haha. It is really fun!! I played it the other day and he loves it. So, me thinks it was a good choice. haha. And he gave me this huge assortment of my favourite chocolate (Godiva) and he made me a Build-A-Bear!!! I call him my Dread Pirate Levi… so he made me a Dread Pirate Levi bear!!! I LOVE IT!!!! It smells like him too. So, it makes me feel like he’s with me. Which makes me happy.
So, we ate and we chatted.. and whatnot…
Then… I decided to give him a tour of my campus. We walked around for quite a while. I must expound on one really awesome part of the walk. We walked up under the campus clock tower… we pulled me close and when we kissed… the clock struck… it was super cool. The end. haha.
Then, I decided to take him across the street to the Sam Houston Park and we walked around the pond and we walked on the trail. He brought some hot tea. So, we walked and drank that for a while.
Then I showed him my reading haven on campus and we hung out there for a while.
Then the clock struck midnight and I knew that he had some work to do at home and I had two journals to write. So, we bid each other a good evening and he made his way home.
Twas the bestest and sweetest Valentine’s Day that I have ever had!!!
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Since that blissful day, Levi and I have been in such a beautiful state of blissful love. Everyday, knowing that I am his and he is mine, has made me fall more and more in love with him. I have found my other half and I cherish every moment that I share with him. Every moment that we talk about marriage and our future together, I melt all over again. He has proven himself to be the man that I have always dreamt of sharing my life with. Levi is the definition of a true gentleman and I have been blessed to have been placed into his life. He has proven himself to be brilliant, wise, chivalrous, spiritual, strong, patient, romantic, handsome, and witty. I know that nobody is perfect. However, I know that he is perfect for me. We no longer have to wait for our real lives to begin. He is my best friend, and the man that I am going to spend the rest of my life with.
